Monday, December 19, 2005

Predictability and Consistancy

I'm a person who likes to know what's going to happen, at least with my life. I like things to be consistant and I like to be able to predict what is going to happen. I don't know why I am still this way. Since I've been married my life has been anything but the sort, unfortunately. After 5 years, you would like that I would learn to deal with the surprises life has in store for us better, but that is not the case. Three years ago we made a decision that would make our life even more unpredictable and consistant, and I often wonder why. It was something that the Lord told us we needed to do, so that's why we did. But if I knew what we would go through in the process I would probably never do it again. My husband decided to start his own company. At the beginning I never knew when he would be home, or if he would be home. I didn't know if some disaster would happen and I would have to go through the labor and devlivery of our first child alone. There was so much I couldn't predict of expect. I couldn't expect him home for dinner, I couldn't expect him home by the time I put S down, I couldn't expect him to be home by the time I went to bed, or even when I got up in the morning. Things have calmed down a bit, and I know (on most days) what time he'll be home rougly, and that he won't be working on the weekend. So why is that I write about this today? Well, because we have had some things happen that couldn't be predicted that in turn leads me to stressing out. My husband ended up working a full day and then some on Saturday, which is our only day just to ourselves, which upset me a bit, but it had to happen. It was either go in and fix the problem or have the company go under, most likely. Also this month some unpredictable things happened with regards to the company that leaves Christmas at little less than desirable (at least the worldly, present part of it). Needless to say my life has been thrown a lot of curve balls lately, and for someone like me it's not wanted or appreciated. I know miracles can and do happen, I just hope they happen soon. My life is more stressful than I like and wish it would all go away. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for this time of year to reflect more on my Savior and all he has done for me. I just wish I could do it not so stressed

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

I am sure things will work out.

I can imagine it is hard to have the inconsistency, not fun.

But, you'll be fine.