Monday, August 28, 2006

My family's day view

For multiple reasons, I've never posted any pictures of family or anything for that matter. Some of the reasons....I can only download the pictures from the camera to the hubby's labtop, which he uses during the day at work, which is when I post of the most part. To keep some anonymity, to keep from judgment (try to let the reader put a face to the writing). And probably the reason that has stopped me from doing it thus far, don't laugh, I don' t know how to download the pictures from the camera, the hubby has always done it.
So here there are, in blog day view, my family. My cute kids, Stir Fry, 3, and Baluga, who just had her first birthday, me and the hubby. Most of these pictures are from our vacation to the Oregon Coast, and then others of just how cute the kiddies are.
So there you have it, you know have faces to put to the stories. I hope you like them.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

My closet obsession

During my pre-teens I discovered a great love, dance. I started taking classes and I loved it, I found joy and happiness in it. Every time recital time came around, I envied the girls who were in mulitple routines and could take all different kinds of dance. But at the same time I knew I was luck to just be taking one class. My family struggled financially (but we were always happy and strong) and our extracurricular activities were limited. Unfortunately I was only able to take classes for a few years. The place I was taking classes at made a rule that in order to take anything besides ballet, you had to take ballet (for technique purposes). When I heard this, there wasn't even a decision to be made, I had to stop. I couldn't ask my parents to try to afford another class and all the expenses that come with that. So before I knew it, it was over. I didn't ever think it really bothered me, sure I would love to take clases if things worked out, but I was ok with it (or so I thought). Now here it is over 10 years later, and I find myself obsessed with So You Think You Can Dance and watching it religously. It helps that my kids like it and will dance along with the contestants, gives me a "good" excuse to watch it. "I watch it because my kids like it." Although anytime I try to use that excuse my husband will say otherwise. I realize now, that I miss dance, I wished I took more, I wish I was better, heck I wish I was confident in my abilities, I wish a lot of things. But unfortunately there isn't a lot that the dance world has to offer a mom in her mid-20's with little experience looking to rediscover dance. So my solution...Watch SYTYCD and think what might have been and cry and try to live through them. I hope that I can be blessed enough to let my kids experience the world and discover and do what they love. I also hope that I can seperate my love from their love, since there are a lot of parents try to live through their children, and make them love what they love.

Returning to my life and what it holds

There were reasons why I was looking forward to coming home from vacation and reasons why I never wanted to. I love being with my family, and I wished I lived closer and got to spend more time with them. I enjoyed. I like the added help of grandparents and an aunt and uncle. I enjoyed the help of my husband all the time. But I didn't like the lack of sleep I got because of my baby girl, although luckily she didn't disturb Stir Fry sleep. I looked forward to getting in my own bed, my own room, a routine again. But I didn't look forward to what awaited me, or should I say what didn't await me.
The last nine months I have worked very hard at enjoying where we are at at this point in our lives. Before last November I was very unhappy with where we were living, our lack of friends, and everything else that came with life outside of our family. It had been a little over three years since we had moved to this place and I had "tolerated" it long enough. I wasn't happy, and since moving wasn't and still isn't quite yet I finally decided to make due with what I had. We made a real conscious effort at meeting new people and making friends. After several months it started to pay off, we had met people we enjoyed doing stuff with and finally reciprecated our invitation to do things. I was content and would even say happy. I had friends, which everyone needs some, and my kids had friends. There were 3 or 4 ladies that I got along really well with. The day before we left on vacation one moved across the country to the east coast, where he husband got accepted to law school. The one that I'm closest to friendship wise, and location wise (she lives right next door) found out short before we left that he husband was to go to Iraq! She has a daughter that is 2 weeks younger than Baluga and another that is about a year older than Stir Fry, but she his best friend. Her family lives in Colorado, so she decided to move back there. I would do the same, I don't blame her. They left on vacation right before they did and we left right as they got back, so now that we are home we have until Friday and then she is gone. We returned home, and I found out he has not left yet, which he was suppose to leave the 9th. He isn't sure when he is leaving and might not even leave, but they are still moving! Why did the Lord do this to me? I feel I'm back where I started 9 months ago, although I know what I'll be missing. I just hope and pray we get good neighbors that we get along with and have kids to play with.
Sorry for the pitty party, I'm just bummed to be home. Any thoughts on how I can make the best of the situation?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Welcome Back

Well we returned home last night after a week of "vacation". We went to the Oregon Coast and rented a house with my parents and older brother and family. We had a good time, and always enjoy one anothers company. We had 6 adults, and 5 kids 3 and under in a three bedroom house. The only time it bothered me was sleeping. I had both of my kids in a room with the hubby and I, and of course little Baluga didn't sleep well, and I didn't want to let her cry it out and wake up the house, nor did I think she would calm down being able to see us. We played on the beach and just took it easy. I loved watching my kids play with their cousins and their grandparents. So we are home and I can try to get things back to normal and start on my new adventure of trying to wean Baluga from breastfeeding and her pacifier while trying to get her to sleep through the the night. Wish me luck.