Monday, December 05, 2005

Low expectations

I've found that either parents expect less of their children or I expect too much of my children. Either case I'm not going to change and let my kids get away with things that I don't think are appropiate for certain situations. In my opinion there is a time and place where kids need to learn to sit and it all starts at home. We require S to sit at the dinner table and eat with us until we think he has ate enough food. So he has learned that sometimes he just needs to sit. I bring this up because we went to church yesterday and there are always the same parents that let their children do what ever they want whenever they want, which I feel distracts me and others getting what they want out fo the meetings. I think it's simple, if your child is screaming, take them out so others can enjoy. S does pretty good for a 2 and half year old, but yet he has learned from the time he became mobile that there are certain times and places we expect him to sit and be still and quiet. I had a conversation about this with my parents and my dad brought up a good point that we think we need to tolerate more than we really do. I hate to be one of those parents that people look at and say "I can't believe they are letting their child do that and doing nothing about it!" I hope my kids turns out better because I have expectations of their behavior and remind them of them when they forget or slip.


Stephanie said...

I agree with your Dad.

I have found that whenever I am judgmental of other parents, that something happens to me where I am in the same situation.

Different kids have different temperaments. You can't always look at the child and blame the parent.

michellesarah said...

I think stick to your expectations. Everyone goes on and on about how kids have no respect for anyone and anything these days. And that's probably because they've never been made aware about how their behaviour affects others around them - and I'm not just talking about their own parents. If your kids run riot when you take them food shopping, then they make the experience miserable for everyone else who is trying to shop in peace. They might get in the way of people while they're trying to manouvere those awful shopping trolleys. They're just generally annoying. But people are always saying "Stop that. Stand Still. Do this. Do that", but never make their kids aware of why...

I nearly hugged a lady the other who said the magic words "Come over here and stand still. You're getting in everybody's way. I'm not saying make kids doormats, but teach them to think about others, even in something simple like how they move around a store, or how quietly they sit at church.

And who knows, this may mean when they're 16 and 17 and they get their drivers licences, they will drive sensibly and won't partake in risky behaviours like drink driving - because their conscience wouldn't allow something awful to happen to someone else's family, as well as themselves.

Good on you for keeping the expectations high!