Friday, May 19, 2006

My guns are loaded

Ok, let me start off with a disclaimer. I'm not a gun owner, or a gun fan. There will probably never be a gun in our home, maybe a BB gun (but that's something that will have to be considered way down the line when my boy(s) are old enough and responsible enough, if that can even happen, I have brothers and know that as a male you are probably never responsible enough for that and will do stupid things with a BB gun no matter how old you are).
Growing up in a house full of boys (of course there were me and my mom, but that was it when it comes to females. 3 brothers and a dad), girly stuff was hard to come by. Which could be one of the reasons I'm not as girly as most of my female friends, don't come to me for advice on make-up or hair or anything else along those lines.
The wonderful visitor that comes once a month, was never a topic in our home because of all the boys and being out numbered, even though it happened. Maybe because of this or just because I'm lucky, that time has never been that big of a deal. No out of control cramps, not too moody, I was just about the same, besides the inconvience. So fortunately my pregnancies have been the same. No morning sickness, no crabiness, no weird middle of the night craving, etc. Besides not having a visitor come, the weight gain and eventually feeling the baby move, I would be clueless on the fact thatI was pregnant (Now I hope my husband agrees with this about the pregnancies and monthly visitor and it's not just a figment of my imagination, which I think he will.) After my first baby it was over a year before my visitor came back, and things just kind of feel back into place, the way they were and always have been. Now that my little B is 9 months old I wish I could say the same. About 2 months ago I had a guest for over a month. And this is when my title comes in. I've been more witchy than I ever have. It's like my body was making up for the past 14 years of luck and being enjoyable during her visits. My guns have definately been loaded and ready to fire at any moment. I've been short with every one, including the kids. I have no patience and I can't stand it. I know what I am doing when I'm doing and yet have a hard time controling it (which I think is how most women are on a monthly basis). The last few days I've felt it is getting slightly better, I hope yet again we'll see what the hubby says. I just don't know what to do with myself. It's driving me crazy being this out of control person and I don't know what to do. At 26 I'm having to learn how to deal with or control this issue, when most girls learn how to at about 12. Wish me luck. I hope my family still loves me when this is all over.


Kilted Wolf said...

Well, I would have so say that your right on your view of your self. For the most part that time is pretty mellow. But I would have to say that the last while, your guns have been loaded ready to go off.

We will always love you..

melnel said...

I was oging to tell you that your family will always love you, but they beat me to it... :)

The human body, and really the human female body, has got the be the craziest of God's creations.

Growing up in a house of girls, I know how crazy that monthly visitor can be--just times it by 5 and you'd get my house all over again at any given month, right? :)

My sympathies go your way--I'm sure it isn't fun to have to deal not only with the physical changes, but also the loss of control that you've always enjoyed. I'll be praying for you!